At Extended-Student-Loan Solutions, we think that the nagging dilemma of student-loan financial obligation is bigger than life. This life, that is. That’s why we’re providing you two more lifetimes to pay for it well.
Q: simply therefore I’m totally clear about this, just what the fuck are you currently talking about?
A: We hear all of the right time from anxious pupils whom think they’ll probably grow old and perish before they pay back their loans. We’re proud in order to appear them into the eye and“Go say ahead and die. We’ve got you covered.”
Q: how to carry on my re re payments if I’m dead?
A: Our patented reincarnation computer computer software tracks you while you transfer to the next life, seamlessly transferring your loan towards the brand new you so you don’t miss just one payment.
Q: exactly just How precisely performs this advantage me?
A: By extending your loan’s “life,” so to talk, we’re able to diminish your monthly premiums while increasing our odds of getting paid back. Imagine decreasing the anxiety that is included with paying down an unreasonably big sum of cash in a single life time. Then imagine us reducing the anxiety of loaning those amounts of cash to those who majored in philosophy.
Q: therefore, are you currently saying I’m able to stop making repayments now and merely let my future selves cover the rest?
A: Unfortunately, no. It is gonna just take all three of you to definitely out close this thing.
Q: Will this software tell me personally exactly what I’m planning to be next life?
A: we realize little in regards to the journey that each individual makes she crosses over as he or. All we understand without a doubt is anything you become owes us a huge amount of cash.
Q: are you going to allow my future self understand a bit that is little me personally so your financial obligation does not come completely away from left field?
A: for every of our debtors, we create a change file with individual data in regards to the customer. We realize that a individual is significantly more acceptable about making re payments whenever that individual seems attached to their past self so when that previous self didn’t major in philosophy.
Q: This all appears great, exactly what if we keep coming back being a horse?
A: The reality is that you’re about as prone to pay your loan off being a horse when you are in your overall incarnation, therefore we’ll just take our possibilities.
Q: What if we actually pay back my loan before we die, in this life?
A: Oh, my Jesus, that’s adorable.
Q: I’ve applied for significantly more than 3 hundred thousand bucks in student education loans. I’m wondering when you can let me know why used to do that.
A: is the fact that . . . a concern?
Q: I happened to be focused on applying to grad college and amassing more debt in addition to my undergraduate loans, nevertheless now i’m, like, Screw it, it is the horse’s problem, right?
A: To be money mutual clear, you’re not absolutely being a horse.
Q: I would like to be a horse therefore bad.
A: i understand you do.
Q: Wouldn’t your efforts be better spent finding an answer to tuition that is rising, in place of attempting to unlock the period of presence through the transcendence of consciousness?
A: You suggest the harder thing? No.
Q: My parents wish to know: when they co-sign my loan, will their future selves be held accountable because of it?
A: Yes, however their future selves may be able to find your future self to aid away aided by the loan. Just be sure they recognize that your self that is future might understand what they’re speaking about, because you’re a turtle.
Q: all of this existential talk is making me concern whether we could also state for several it was me personally whom took away this loan to start with, you know?
A: it had been you.
Q: Or . . . had been it?
A: it absolutely was.
Q: how is it possible that I’ll be expected to assume the mortgage of just one of my selves that are past and ramp up with two loans?
A: Dimensional Double Debt Dipping is forbidden, so no.
Q: What if we keep coming back as somebody from England? are you able to convert loan re re payments from pounds sterling?
A: As of now, we don’t have that ability.
Q: started to consider it, some racehorses make a lot of money. Because you won’t be there, remember if I come back as a racehorse, can I help name him?
A: No? You’ll be the horse.